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Best of Intentions...

Meet Sweetpea, my little baby dove friend. When I pulled into my driveway after dropping the kids at school this morning, I saw a tiny lump on the mat of our front door. When I approached the first time to investigate, I saw Sweetpea, curled into a tiny ball and sleeping.

Naturally, I rushed to get my phone to take a picture because NATURE. Also, what if she’s injured and needs me to place her in a little box with a warm towel and breastfeed her and sing to her and nurse her back to health? I could save her LIFE. When I poked around the corner with my phone, I scared the shit out of poor Sweetpea. She jumped up, ran in circles, looked at me frightfully, and weighed her options.


I softly said, “oh no baby! You’re ok! You’re safe!” To which she absolutely freaked, flew up and smashed into the glass door, fell back down, and eventually flew past me and into the street.


By this point I’m hysterical. OMG I have killed this baby bird because I’m a moron who can’t leave animals alone. Now she is absolutely going to need rescuing, but I blew my one chance and now she has PTSD and won’t come near me.


So I chased her into the street, frantically pleading for her not to die and just let me HELP her. She seems fine, but she won’t get out of the fucking street. She’s running/flying away from me, I’m following and begging her to just get out of the street and into a damn tree or something.


Eventually, she finds her way to my neighbor’s lawn and she is safely out of the road. I tell her how sorry I am for ruining her whole day and promise to leave her alone if she shelters on my porch again. She flips me the bird  and turns her back to me.

I’m going to ask all of my neighbors for their Ring cam footage because I bet this exchange is absolutely hilarious to everyone else who wasn’t trying to rescue a poor, defenseless baby bird.


P.S. do you SEE how her little head is cocked at me in that picture? She’s like BITCH WHO ARE YOU? I was sleeping.





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