A few years back, I decided to start the tradition of making a Christmas stocking for each family member, rather than continuing to use the current, store-bought, unsentimental ones. I've always had the best stocking in our house because my sister made it from some of my grandpa’s old overalls after he passed. Both of my step-kids had traditional, red-and-white fuzzy stockings that I hand-painted their names on and glued jingle bells to when they were little. I considered theirs at least somewhat homemade, so I directed my attention to my husband's stocking. He had a cheap, Coca Cola stocking that I bought on clearance at Hobby Lobby – it hung the opposite way of the others and was made of out of some terrible material that would tear if I ever filled it with anything. So, he was selected for that year’s super-special, handmade, Mer-is-going-to-try-to-use-her-sewing-machine, Christmas stocking.
“I’ll admit, it may not seem like the best idea to arrange an exchange of money for goods with a random man in a liquor store parking lot, but whatever.”
I had the brilliant idea of using some of his old Carhartt coveralls to make his stocking. Unfortunately, he has used them all to the point of complete destruction and I didn’t want to hang a greasy, yucky stocking with the nice ones. So I decided to hunt some down on Craigslist. Now, Carhartt coveralls typically run $95-155 each and there was no way I wanted to pay full-price for something I was going to cut-up and use approximately 15% of. Hence the idea to purchase used closing from the Internet.
I found someone close to my work who was selling a brand-new pair of coveralls at the bargain price of $40. We texted a meeting place in the middle of the day right down the street from my office. I’ll admit, it may not seem like the best idea to arrange an exchange of money for goods with a random man in a liquor store parking lot, but whatever - I thought of that, so I called my best friend.
Me: Hey! Just wanted you to know I am going to meet this guy from Craigslist, his name is Dan, and he is selling me some coveralls for my husband. I’m meeting him at So-and-So Liquor on the corner of Please Don’t Kill Me & What Am I Thinking.
BFF: What the fuck? Are you kidding me? I will give you money to buy overalls. You don’t have to buy clothes from strange men you meet online. You are going to die and I am going to be the only one who knows about it. WHY would you tell me this?
Me: Oh calm down, he sounded fine on the phone via text message and I theoretically know karate from those Rush Hour films with Jackie Chan.
BFF: Oh my God. Call me if you don’t die. I am going to go get my inhaler and panic until you call me back.
So, I got to the liquor store and texted him that I had arrived. He texted back, “meet me around back by the loading docks.” Yeah, ok, sounds good. I drove to the back of the store and parked in the shadows under the “Dumping Station” sign. 5 seconds later the hottest man I have ever seen in person (aside from my husband, duh) walked up to my car with the coveralls. I stuttered, “Oh hi, yeah, um, I thought you were going to kill me in back of this building, hahahaha!” He laughed, handed me the coveralls (which I did not even LOOK AT) and took the money. Did I mention he was gorgeous? Holy cow. Best Craigslist transaction ever. Pulling out of the parking lot, I called BFF back.
Me: Holy Mother of God, that man was beautiful. That was so easy. He didn't even attack me, unfortunately.
BFF: Oh God, did YOU attack him? How are the overalls?
Me: Oh I am sure they are fine. No I didn’t attack him, I’m married. Do you think he has anything else for sale though? Can I borrow some cash?
BFF: *uncontrollable laughter* You’re an idiot. *click*
Turns out, the coveralls were, in fact, brand new and exactly what I was looking for. Truth be told, I would have been totally satisfied if he handed me an empty bag and probably wouldn't have even noticed. They sat in my car until five days before Christmas and I finally took them out two days before and made the biggest, most home-made, ridiculous-looking stocking on the planet. It looked like something your kid brings home from Kindergarten and you have to display because they worked really hard on it but you secretly can't wait until Christmas is over so you can throw it away. I felt a pang of guilt because my husband saw them in my car that week and got all excited but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I was cutting them up for a craft project. I am sure he was equally as thrilled to have a Carhartt stocking that he only gets to see once a year for three weeks rather than a new pair of really expensive work coveralls. :) I’m so thoughtful.